I decided to go Super Saiyan.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
HEY HEY YEAHHHH
Fights, battles have begun
Revenge will surely come
Your hard times are ahead
You've got to be the best
You've got to change the world
And you use this chance to be heard
Your time is now
Let yourself down
Don't let yourself go
Your last chance has arrived
For the past month I've been seeing this drop dead gorgeous Japanese exchange student and just enjoying casual sex with her. Like most girls, you get bored of them eventually so after a solid 27 days I decided to end things by taking the high road by letting her down easily while solidifying a solid mutual parting like how a real man does it:
I initiated a fake fight about something completely arbitrary and antagonizing just to piss her off. I believe my exact words were: "I'm frustrated talking to you since your English sucks. You have no idea what I'm saying half the time"(which by the way is completely untrue. She's near fluent). Let me emphasize: I made a girl feel guilty for not speaking English 100%. Yes, I'm human. I feel terrible about it.
Naturally, she was not too thrilled with all this so right after that, she got out of the car and slammed the door as hard as she could and I thought "Ok, that's it then". I was dead fucking wrong. I forgot that we met each other through a mutual friend and that was going to bite me in the ass hard a week later.
Last night, I was over AT that friend's Halloween party. He had no idea I was seeing this girl previously so what does the moron do? He invites her. Picture this scene in your head. I just picked up my fourth beer and I'm standing with my friends in my awesome Halloween costume(I put on a "Hi! My name is ________" name tag and went as myself). I turn my head to find her entering the front door. I drop my beer on the floor. The hosts were unhappy about this.
She gives me that uneasy "...hi" in her Japanese accent and I was fucking dumbstruck by how big a nosedive this night has already taken. At this time, something clicked in her head so she decides to get PLOWED fucking drunk and mind fuck me for the rest of the night. She was bringing out the big guns. This girl was not playing around.
She starts flirting with every single one of my friends and more at the party. It was only when I was around though. Every time I left the room, out of the corner of my eye I watched her following me trying to situate another dry humping session with some schmuck. She made sure I saw it. It seems every time I turned my head that night she was pretending to be into some guy. I didn't show any reaction to it, I kept having fun and talking to girls and pretending I didn't care. I kinda did.
Around every half hour she would come up to me and start these stupid conversations with me then just eject and talk to another one of my friends that she's never met. This was mind fucking in nearly every definition of the word. My friend Caleb kept telling me "She's only doing this to make you jealous. She still likes you." I was starting get burned up and pissed off.
So finally, she performs a deadly coup de grace. I was standing by the door getting my coat then she comes up to me again and asks: "Hey, how are you feeling tonight?" I give the short evasive answer then I realized what she was doing. She was getting my attention to make sure I saw our mutual friend come in the room with his girlfriend. Right when this happened, she went up the stairs and into his room with both of them with both girls on each arm. That image got burned into my retinas and I couldn't believe that just happened. It didn't even register in my mind until the drive home.
Let me reiterate: My ex-girlfriend flirted with my friends and ended up having a threesome with my friend(who didn't know the situation) and his girlfriend with the sole intent of illiciting a reaction from me and making me jealous.
Before I couldn't talk to girls and now they're conspiring against me. Women are evil and that night sucked; it sucked ass from a straw. And here's the worst part: Her tactics worked. I'm probably going to call her today even if I'm just going to ream her.
Owned irl =/
I now declare Starlight by Muse to be a great make-out song.
My night of glory has been had. I've been knighted with 10 out of 10 game.
My dechode-ification is done
I am not a wuss, chode or chump anymore
I'm a champ.
I AM ALASTOR.
My name is Gregory Alastor Kazuo Milligan and I am an asshole.
This fight could be the last fight
No giving and no winning